awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Randomize
