Tell her she can't have a vagina
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Two words: nipple clamps
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