Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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