the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
