So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
