Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
