We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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