Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
