Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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