i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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