There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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