It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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