.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
