you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize