We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
