o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize