there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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