This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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