I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
