I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
