Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Randomize
