so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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