How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
