I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Randomize
