i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
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