Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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