Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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