I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
