Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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