your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Randomize
