btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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