Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Is it penis luge time yet?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
