You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
