Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
