so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
