wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
