There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
