so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
where am i from again
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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