he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
that may or may not have been my penis.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
