You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
