So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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