She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
