Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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