THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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