I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
