You're my little dorito
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
