Screwed.edu
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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