that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
