Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
