I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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