the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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