in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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