Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
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yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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