I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
