Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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