I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
