Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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