I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
