this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize