Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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