I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
